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Dean's Daze
deanthepoet09@yahoo.com - Volume IX, Issue IIII -- 30 May 06
one breath changes everything
The
incessant buzzing of the doorbell woke him up from a beautiful dream that he had
been clinging to for the last hour. It
was majestic and beautiful with colors and characters, and it felt like he was
making a movie in his head. Without
his consent, the dream faded to black as he valiantly tried to push the play
button in his mind; it was gone and lost forever in the annals of his memory.
The winter air had found its way into his apartment and like an uninvited
guest would stay too long. His
breath was cold as it escaped his lips. He stepped on to the uncarpeted floor
and his feet quickly retreated back under the comforters.
Whoever was ringing the doorbell would go away and before he could
complete his thought; he was adrift again in a world of reverie and an
unfinished dream. He knew her face
was beautiful even though he couldn’t see it, and her smile, unseen, radiated
and found its way to his heart.
Again,
the doorbell.
Again,
an interruption of something beautiful he wished to touch and let its aura wash
over him. He wanted to go to that
place of hopes and dreams where happiness lived and everyday is filled with
countless moments. A place he had
heard about often in movies and books, but in the everyday living of his life
had remained a mystery to him. If
for once, he could touch her innocence, feel her love pulsating between his
fingers; maybe his life would somehow make sense.
A feeling he’s had his entire life that he was a stranger in a world
that didn’t understand him, and he yearned to meet someone who wouldn’t
question why he was this kind of person, but embrace him for being unique.
For now, dreams were his only sanctuary; the only place where could find
peace without questions.
Muttering
obscenities that would make a comic blush, he descended down the stairs of his
apartment to find out who would dare intrude on his sleeping time and interrupt
his beautiful dream. Sleep took
refuge in his eyes and the image outside his front door was blurred as he tried
in vain to adjust his eyes to the morning sunlight.
Even before the image became clear and his eyes were able to focus, the
chill in the winter air suddenly changed its mind and a warm front greeted him.
The kind of warmth one would associate with love, a smile.
She
was here.
His
dream had somehow escaped his mind and found its way to his front door.
She
was smiling in that same open and welcoming way in his dream.
The questions which had haunted him his entire life; questions about his
place in the world, finding someone of equal passion and a woman who would love
him with a fervor that could melt away winter’s coldest storm.
The questions now had answers. The answer was at his front door just
waiting to come inside from the cold. The
cold, a place he had grown accustomed to over the years and the familiarity of
that cold, barren place had become a friend.
The kind of friend you don’t want but because your choices are limited,
an uneasy alliance of mutual acceptance, loneliness is formed.
Today, that alliance has been broken and a bonding of two like hearts
will embrace the notion, that yes, beauty lives here on earth and her name is
woman.
She
steps inside the door, away from the cold and into my life. A life, just a few
seconds ago was relegated to dreams with seemingly no possibility of coming to
fruition. An air of a subtle scent of cucumbers and lime lotion clings to her
body, desperate like him to be part of her, and unwilling to share any part of
her with him. Jealousy is an ugly
mistress and her motives are always clear. There
is no beauty in her smile and uncertainty about her relevance keeps her shrouded
in darkness until her place is challenged. He
understands jealousy and runs from it because she is the Devil in the guise of
love and dreams.
Jealousy
doesn’t live here on this day.
Love
has come to him and his wait for her has proven to be a just cause.
He feels vindicated that his wait hasn’t been in vain and the God of
hopes and dreams has seen fit to grant his only wish.
Her journey to him has taken longer than anticipated, but in the end, the
only thing that matters is that love has found its way to him.
He
inhales winter’s sweet breath and closes the door behind them.
Jean-Pierre, Dean
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